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I felt like every time we went to a fancy restaurant, the maître d' thought I was Michael's daughter.

We would kiss at the table, and I'd catch (or maybe it was my imagination) the waiter's surprised look, and then I felt like he'd pegged me as some kind of gold-digger.

I know there's a lot that goes into the mix--personality, zest for living, confidence, etc., and maybe I'm warped by my few experiences. I've dated women 10 years younger (when I was 35) and 10 years older (when I was 40). Personality, positivism, humor, attitude, and enthusiasm matter much more after that first 2 minutes. It's a nice place to meet people and get past that first 2 minutes.

But given a choice and all else being equal, wouldn't most men over, say, 40, prefer dating women who are substantially younger? It's also a way to "meet men" without being in a place to "meet men" (like a bar). I am at the age where, for health reasons, I don't need a woman unless she is a nurse but when I was 40ish I lived several years with a woman who was 60ish and found nothing about her unattractive that was age related.

Probably few hetero males don't appreciate an eyeful of a good-looking 20-year-old woman, but at what approximate age, if any, do women stop being secret-ogle worthy?

If it matters, here's my situation: I'm 54 and divorced 2 years after 32 years of marriage to a man with major mental health issues.

At 23, dating young is complicated by that pesky “college” business.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled you’re educating yourself; I just think it might be hard to date you right now. I buy vegetables and change my sheets on a reasonably regular basis.

Of course starting a relationship is different than that - obviously you aren't starting a second family with a woman in her 50s, and there are guys that are after that..

It’s such a topic of conversation that we’ve created a whole lexicon to describe these “May December” romances–see?

Even I’m using the lingo—with websites devoted to facilitating them, porn devoted to fetishizing them, and fake and “real” reality shows ( Courtney Stodden.

I'm especially interested in getting the male point of view, but I'd welcome the female opinions, too.

How much does a woman's age factor into whether men find her attractive?

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